Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
