Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
