She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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