Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
