so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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