I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
