I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
