I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Randomize