FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize