I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
