He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
