Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
