I wanna bring you to show and tell
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
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