you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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