Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
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