At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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