Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
