I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Randomize
