I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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