i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Randomize
