You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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