Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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