If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
