what day is it and did you see me today?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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