If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
