i just wanna soil my oats bro
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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