How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
