There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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