see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
