Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
