I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize