I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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