If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
