I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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