Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
vagina is talking i cant
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize