I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night