Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
