It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
