You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
