You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
