I'm so fucking centered right now
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Come see our sink grown plant.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
