He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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