i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
