Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
