I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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