I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
