I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize