i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
of course. lets lasso hookers.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.