I want to have your abortion
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."