ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
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i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
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Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
i think i just lost a toe