ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
one two three fourrrrnication!
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
