Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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