I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
My vagina just clenched in fear
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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