I'm really into asian looking animals
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
