come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
