i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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