My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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